Just over two years ago, we had a miscarriage at about 19 weeks and lost our baby girl. It was a shock and very devastating. Needless to say there were lots of tears shed. How could this be happening to me? My heart was broken and I was filled with sorrow—a kind of sorrow that felt like would never go away. I remember sitting alone in my hospital room crying and trying to understand why this happened and praying for help. While still in my room, I felt as though Heavenly Father and the Savior wrapped their arms around me and told me that they loved me. I had an overwhelming feeling of peace and love, even though my heart was still broken.
I wasn’t immediately healed, but I remember feeling so much love that it gave me strength that was not my own. I needed to feel this love and strength so that I could understand that His plan is greater than my plan and that through Him it was going to be ok.
The next few weeks and even months were not easy, but I held on to that feeling of peace and love. It gave me strength to move forward and not stay in the pit of despair that would be so easy to bury myself in. The Savior gave me power to have faith in the future, His Atonement and His plan.
This experience still brings me some feelings of sadness, but not in a debilitating way. My faith in the Savior has been strengthened because of this experience and I know that He can heal even the deepest wounds if we let Him and if we ask for His help. I can’t imagine going through this alone. I’m so grateful for my Savior’s love and for the knowledge of the Plan of Happiness. I don’t understand how everything will work out but I have faith that it will. His love is real and his power is real.
Abt the Author: Ashley and her husband live in Murray, UT. Since her miscarriage in 2017, Ashley had a baby boy pictured in the photo.